I think a lot of the time we think being courageous is the idea of jumping into a burning building to rescue someone. It’s easy to lump all these large acts of courage into something distant and not part of our everyday life. I think we need to start becoming more aware of the “ordinary courage”. This is the courage we show everyday by telling someone “I love you” or “this is how I feel”.
Being more courageous in everyday life will help you feel more empowered, happier and complete. Here are some ways to do it:
1. Release Expectations and Get Grounded
Take the time to get in touch with your authentic self. Really know your values, who you are and who you are striving to be. You really want to be confident in these values and beliefs, and be ready to share them with the world. Being more grounded allows us to stop seeking acceptance, belonging, and approval from other people.
Lots of time we try to meet the expectations put on us by other people in our lives including friends, family, colleagues, and the media. Instead, we should focus on assessing our own values, staying true to them, and learning to communicate our beliefs.
2. Set Boundaries
When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. Lots of time we stay quiet or attack the person, which in turn causes us more pain than addressing the behaviour or choice. Set boundaries with people, if they do something that bothers or upsets you, voice your concerns, stop the pattern and be proactive. People treat you the way you let them.
3. Be Vulnerable
Vulnerability in our culture has been labeled as a sign of weakness, when in reality it’s a sign of strength. We can’t truly experience the amazing things life has to offer without being vulnerable. It’s scary because vulnerability is deeply rooted in feelings of shame and fear, but it is also the birthplace of joy, love, creativity, and belonging.
Acknowledging our vulnerabilities is an act of courage. It is such a powerful tool to look at how something makes us feel (rejected, sad, hurt) and why it makes us feel that way (unloved, unsupported, misunderstood). We can bring awareness to the situation and identify the triggers, instead of having everything swept under the rug and turned into emotional turmoil. Being vulnerable allows us to act with more honesty, compassion, and understanding, and it creates a world of innovation, creativity and change.
4. Communicate
When we have an issue we can either: Shut down and act out or express how we feel and ask for what we need.
This shows the power of communication. It allows us to move through any issues we face in a constructive manner. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and communicate how something makes us feel, why we feel that way, and ask for what we need, everything changes. It is a hard very conversation to have, but it change patterns of resentment, dismissal, and disconnect, and instead creates communication, compassion, and connection. Telling someone how we feel takes more courage and is more powerful than verbally attacking them or shutting down.
5. Practice Empathy and Compassion
When someone has the courage to share their feelings, hopes, dreams and difficulties, we need to listen and try to understand where they are coming from. It’s an opportunity for us to practice compassion and help the person know they are not alone in their struggle.
6. Smile, Sing, Dance and Be Uncool
Get out there, have fun, put a smile on your face and those around you. Let yourself be free and don’t worry about anything else other than feeling that inner joy. Dance funny and sing out of tune, don’t let anything stop you. You’ll feel happier and it encourages others to step outside their comfort zone and live the life they want.
These tips can help you feel more connected with your authentic self, create healthier relationships, leave you feeling happier, and empower others to do the same.
“Every time we choose courage we make everyone around us a little better and the world a little braver.” – Brené Brown
I would also highly suggest watching Brené Brown’s TED Talks on The Power of Vulnerability and Listening to Shame. Her hugely successful ted talks, bestselling books and innovative programs are empowering people to dare greatly.
Live everyday courageously.
With love,
Lucy
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